So glad to find you on here Tori. Sorry you've been exhausted too. Just started your book 'It's Not Just You' yesterday & just want to say as someone who has a lot in common with your experiences it means a lot to read your words. So thanks for sharing🍄🤎✍️
( held on to this to sit with turbulence > mobilise constructively )
Coming back to this piece after what would now be a rather long, relentless week as well from rolling into these parallels IMMEDIATELY, post being in active, intentional recovery have been both barbarically resonating & prolifically liberating - dichotomous as all worlds are.
One of the many things I find rather enraging ( to put lightly ) under the ‘ don’t take shit for granted ‘ context is how such precious time, energy, presence were taken for granted ; most not realising how much it takes to be & advocate in these spaces ( both virtually & in person ), upholding radical honesty, accountability, room for human-ing, education… consistently / for women ( biologically built // cycles ) to navigate. That is even before you throw in the mix of mental/ physical health barriers, other human-existence-crossing marginalised identities such as gender fluidity, POC…, recovering from internalised & normalised biases following their extended perceptive spectacles… is, rather brutal. Albeit coming from relative power and privilege, working predominantly with & through grassroot initiatives where resources & fundings are SO SCARCE amplifies the impact in multitudes ; running into community members / organisers who’d been creating fissures, being extractive & exploitative in their policies, all of whom you would also say ‘ it’s good to see you again ‘ to .
In retrospect, realising & experiencing all the ways how only activists/ organisers in their spaces would share this subliminal, unspoken understanding / resistance that guards & weaves reciprocal intent through deep communal love & care, at a depth that nurtures longevity. Let alone the alternative to platonic love that isn’t built upon the foundations of that. For these roles, along with all its grace & beauty can just be, incredibly tumultuous at times. Anything else, through nuanced behavioural changes that roots from an absence of such understanding [ e.g. subconsciously pinning consistency to frequency in communication forms especially // states of anthropogenic climate crisis ( now ) where we are demanded at fluctuating capacities ; then proceeds to act passively ] have always become destructive in accumulation. Because we REALLY don’t change, we become. Similar to the pellicle / scoby / mother culture to kombucha making.
Over time, I find myself inadvertently peeling away in shallot layers from environments & dynamics that has a quicksand butterfly effect on me. Similar to when a child learns danger through lived experiences, then the body retains it. And the body remembers. Hence, making experiencing the most truthful.
Long and winding way ( as per usual ) to say - I am endlessly grateful, appreciative for the most magical wonderful mycelial networkings that brought us together, and sending all my love to you & your incredible communities’ ways. You will most certainty get what you hope because 1. We REALLY deserve nothing less 2. Energies attract. Also wishing relatively regulated levels of ( inevitably periodic ) deep rest for all. Big love always. 🧡
So glad to find you on here Tori. Sorry you've been exhausted too. Just started your book 'It's Not Just You' yesterday & just want to say as someone who has a lot in common with your experiences it means a lot to read your words. So thanks for sharing🍄🤎✍️
( held on to this to sit with turbulence > mobilise constructively )
Coming back to this piece after what would now be a rather long, relentless week as well from rolling into these parallels IMMEDIATELY, post being in active, intentional recovery have been both barbarically resonating & prolifically liberating - dichotomous as all worlds are.
One of the many things I find rather enraging ( to put lightly ) under the ‘ don’t take shit for granted ‘ context is how such precious time, energy, presence were taken for granted ; most not realising how much it takes to be & advocate in these spaces ( both virtually & in person ), upholding radical honesty, accountability, room for human-ing, education… consistently / for women ( biologically built // cycles ) to navigate. That is even before you throw in the mix of mental/ physical health barriers, other human-existence-crossing marginalised identities such as gender fluidity, POC…, recovering from internalised & normalised biases following their extended perceptive spectacles… is, rather brutal. Albeit coming from relative power and privilege, working predominantly with & through grassroot initiatives where resources & fundings are SO SCARCE amplifies the impact in multitudes ; running into community members / organisers who’d been creating fissures, being extractive & exploitative in their policies, all of whom you would also say ‘ it’s good to see you again ‘ to .
In retrospect, realising & experiencing all the ways how only activists/ organisers in their spaces would share this subliminal, unspoken understanding / resistance that guards & weaves reciprocal intent through deep communal love & care, at a depth that nurtures longevity. Let alone the alternative to platonic love that isn’t built upon the foundations of that. For these roles, along with all its grace & beauty can just be, incredibly tumultuous at times. Anything else, through nuanced behavioural changes that roots from an absence of such understanding [ e.g. subconsciously pinning consistency to frequency in communication forms especially // states of anthropogenic climate crisis ( now ) where we are demanded at fluctuating capacities ; then proceeds to act passively ] have always become destructive in accumulation. Because we REALLY don’t change, we become. Similar to the pellicle / scoby / mother culture to kombucha making.
Over time, I find myself inadvertently peeling away in shallot layers from environments & dynamics that has a quicksand butterfly effect on me. Similar to when a child learns danger through lived experiences, then the body retains it. And the body remembers. Hence, making experiencing the most truthful.
Long and winding way ( as per usual ) to say - I am endlessly grateful, appreciative for the most magical wonderful mycelial networkings that brought us together, and sending all my love to you & your incredible communities’ ways. You will most certainty get what you hope because 1. We REALLY deserve nothing less 2. Energies attract. Also wishing relatively regulated levels of ( inevitably periodic ) deep rest for all. Big love always. 🧡